Daily Post: On Bees and Efs
Do you — or did you ever — have a Best Friend? Do you believe in the idea of one person whose friendship matters the most? Tell us a story about your BFF (or lack thereof).
I opened the door to find my new roommate on the doorstep. We had spoken on the phone but had never met until that exact moment. She stood there with her luggage and a car full of boxes, her parents standing behind her. They had driven to South Carolina all the way from upstate New York. I had moved from Missouri, so we immediately bonded over being outsiders in the south. We lived together for two years, while we completed a graduate program at USC. We had a lot in common and became fast friends. We went through a lot together – the stress of school, homesickness, dating and breakups. We were in each others’ weddings. Over the years, we have supported each other through pregnancy, pregnancy loss, birth and parenting. We have shared crazy in-law stories. We have had great adventures traveling together. I was the first person she called when she found out our former boss and mentor had terminal cancer. We cried together. She was the first person I called when I lost my job three years ago. She is one of my favorite people on the planet.
I met him on a blind date. He showed up on my doorstep several hours late after a misunderstanding on a canoe trip earlier that day (keys were left in the wrong vehicle, its a long story). I had been through a stressful breakup several months before and I was cautious with him. I immediately felt a comfort with him that I had never felt before. He taught me to trust again. He sealed the broken pieces back together. Falling in love with him was easy. We blissfully entered into marriage with wide eyes and innocence. We have been through a lot in our years together. Life has a way of beating down and weathering even the strongest of relationships. The stress of jobs, moving, children, money and responsibility takes its toll. Despite that, he has been my partner, standing by my side with unwavering devotion. We work together to navigate the stresses of life and the obstacles. We share every part of ourselves. We don’t just live together, we have built a life together. While I call him my husband, he is more than that. He is also my friend.
We didn’t always get along when I was growing up. She was strict and at times, overbearing. I was a very independent child and I resented her authority and boundaries. I spent my adolescence wishing for the day when I could leave and be on my own. As an adult, I can look back and realize that my mother was overworked and stressed. She did the best she could to provide for me and keep me on the right path. Now that I am a parent myself, I know how hard that is. I now realize that she is a smart woman, full of life experience. I didn’t appreciate that when I was younger. I also realize now that she is, and has always been, my biggest supporter. Her love is truly unconditional. Again, as a parent, I can now understand that. I spent my early adulthood living a long distance from my parents. I moved back to my hometown nine years ago. In those nine years, I have seen my mother almost every day. This has allowed us to really get to know each other, in a real way – as adults and equals. While I love her because she is my mother, I also like her as a person. In recent years, she has become one of my closest friends.
I have been blessed to have these people in my life. They each embody true friendship. I can’t really classify one as “best.” I don’t think you can really label that kind of love. All I know is that I am truly thankful to have them in my life.