Sometimes I swim with motivation and purpose.
It may be a leisurely or playful swim, diving down and kicking like a dolphin. It can even be rhythmic and graceful, my muscles in perfect synchronization with my brain. I have energy and feel a connection to my surroundings.
It may be an intense swim, powerful bursts of movement propelling me urgently towards a goal. Ragged breath and flailing limbs, this is often far less graceful. It is draining but my focus is singular. I fight through and block out the fatigue and aching muscles.
Sometimes I cannot find motivation or purpose. I cannot find the energy to care about anything. All I can do is let go and float.
I have been doing a lot of floating lately.
Days go by. They turn into weeks, then months. Everything blurs. The exhaustion lingers and I just conserve as much energy as possible. The more I let go, the less I care. Apathy builds. I float both physically and mentally.
photo credit: Brookpeterson