Epic Fail (AKA How My June Went Off the Rails)

Hi! Remember me?

First, let me say kudos to all of my Writing 101 friends who have completed their assignments (or came closer than I did). I have so enjoyed this course and the opportunity to write. I am thankful for meeting some nice folks who have given me valuable feedback and by returning the favor I have found some cool blogs to follow.

That being said, I completed maybe half of the assignments. In the real world, that would earn me an F. So, my first F!

Luckily this is not a brick and mortar institution and I have no real grade hinging on my performance here. Though, I am disappointed that I didn’t keep up. I will eventually catch up. I do have ideas for several posts and I will get to them.

I don’t know if this counts for any of the assignments. Maybe I can use it for the free writing exercise. I think I can do whatever I want so that sounds good. Yes. Free-writing. Check.

So, June. My kids go to a summer camp program at their school district for the entire month of June. They are entertained from 8am-3pm and get two meals. It is quality, fun child care on the cheap. This program is full every summer. Each grade level has one day a week for swimming (walking to the town pool, swimming, lunch in the park, walking back to school) and one day a week for field trips. And these are nice field trips, too. Not lame ones. They also have Friday movie days and water days and all kinds of special events that are impossible to keep up with. Two kids = two schedules. So every day, I am trying to figure out which child needs to wear a swim suit under her outfit (swim day, water day), which one needs to pack a lunch (field trips, swim days) and which one is eating at the school, which one needs to wear their special camp t-shirt (field trips) – which leads to trying to FIND the t-shirt – and which one needs money for something (the answer: they ALWAYS need money for something. The school is a money pit). So you can see how I lost my mind.

Then my husband finally nagged me into going to a long, long overdue GYN appointment. Ladies, I’m sure you know what I mean. I am busy and not really chomping at the bit to schedule my yearly exam. I avoid my yearly exam at all costs. I have two breast lumps. If I were 25, no one would be that worried about them. But at forty, everyone treats me like I have one foot in the grave. So I got my first ever mammogram, my first breast ultrasound (and second and third), my first visit to a breast surgeon and my first biopsy. This ate up the second half of June. Appointments, tests, waiting for results. I had good days where I barely thought about it and I had bad days where I would cry at the drop of a hat. My attitude initially was: I don’t have time for this. I don’t have time to get sick. Of course, eventually I thought about my own mortality and that is a sobering thing. I worried for my kids and my husband. I worried about the financial toll that a cancer diagnosis would take. Thankfully, in the end, everything came back benign. I have fibroadenomas and I am declining surgical removal. They are just a part of me. Call me lumpy. I am no worse for wear, save for a very bruised frankenboob.

Late last week, my husband went for an eye exam. He decided to switch doctors, to see the eye doctor that I recently saw. He has type 1 (juvenile or insulin-dependent) diabetes. He was diagnosed as a teenager. So he had retinal imaging and a dilated eye exam. He has signs of diabetic retinopathy (the eye changes seen in diabetics that eventually lead to blindness). This is the first time he has been told this. He has been diabetic for 25 years so we expected this at some point. And he’s 40, so we know complications will probably start soon. But it was still a blow. Diabetic complications were always a someday problem when we were younger. Its easy to forget about them when he is young and strong and healthy. I think I even thought that maybe he would be lucky and not have to deal with them. You know, magical thinking. Everything will be okay. Rainbows and unicorns. Head in sand. Unfortunately, reality has reared its ugly head. So we are doing our research and he is making some lifestyle changes in an effort to slow down this process as much as possible.

I have other excuses. My mother-in-law had surgery. My mom was diagnosed with cataracts. Work was incredibly busy. We thought our water heater went out. I stressed for a day about how to pay for a new one. Turns out it needed to be reset after a storm made our electricity blink.

June was not my friend. Well, actually the first half of June was pretty good. Make that: the last half of June was not my friend. I am glad to see June leave. I am hoping July will be better.